Way Back Playback #1 - Cover This!

If you read my very first entry, I talked about how I used to write online way back in 2002. So in order to bring some perspective into what I wrote, and how it relates to what is going on today, I've decided to re-post the articles, grammar mistakes and all. 

Written January 25, 2003

Throughout the whole anti-/pro Napster debate, one main issue never gets mentioned. Much of the music that is getting released these days by these music companies, (which they expect us to buy), is crap. From all the pop acts, to the rock bands that sound exactly the same, to the rappers, who rap in pig-Latin, the quality of music that is being released in 2001-02, is at its lowest since the early 80’s. The focus has changed from the music to the money.  One quick way to make a buck these days is to start an OCB “original cover band.” This step-by-step process provides a simple and easy way to start a band, get a #1 hit, and mooch of the success for ten to twenty years. What you do is form a band, group, etc, and make a record. When you come to the realization that the music that you have created is shit, you find a song, make a cover version of it, and put it out as your first release to your brand new album.

There have been many successful OCB’s that have bought into this step-by-step program and achieved universal success. For example, before they released “Faith”, a hard rock version cover of the George Michael original, Limp Bizkit were a bunch of white middle class punk rockers with little lyrical content, and even lower musical standards. Their first LP “Three Dollar Bill Ya’ll, which they made in 3 hours, had 12 terrible songs, and one cover. Limp Bizkit released that cover, and rose to mega-stardom. Today, they continue to fool their audiences. They just released a remix album of all their hit songs from their first two albums, which all sound the same, and have no reason to be remixed other than making a quick buck.

Another example of a successful OCB is Alien Ant Farm. Early on in 2001, rumors were beginning to swirl that Michael Jackson was attempting a comeback with a brand new album. This piece of news was ironic, because as the hype for MJ was starting to build, a band from California, released a cover version of “Smooth Criminal.” As the song rose up the charts, Alien Ant Farm, became an instant household name, MJ got added publicity, and everybody should have been happy. Well, this didn't exactly pan out. The one party who lost out were the people who were duped into buying Alien Ant Farm’s record. No explanation is necessary, but let’s just says that the album was one of the worst of 2001. However, Smooth Criminal topped the charts for several weeks, and has surely paid for Dryden Mitchell’s haircut.

A third example of a (Note: successful is a missing adjective for this group) OCB is Abba Teens. They have brought the music industry to a whole new low by not only covering another band but naming themselves after the band as well. It is little surprise that the original material that the ABBA Teens have released has had little success and the only reason why they are known musicians rather than supermarket clerks is because they were another outlet for ABBA to add to their fortunes.

So if you want to start a band and don't want to go through hard work of a real band than all you need to do is start an OCB. With the cover release, your band will become a commercial success, your name will be all over the papers, and you could even put your job experience on your resume (in case things don’t work out). Furthermore, after your single leaves the charts, its smooth sailing as you sit back, relax, and live off your royalties, until the “Behind the Music” special on your band gets aired, and you have to look for a real job.

Good luck.